Do you know what? Just for a twist, I'm going to claim all these characters from AoS are mine! Ha Ha!
*The bond of Sisterhood Joel: For you fanatics out there, this fanfic was written by Danielle Gastineau, as far as we can tell. She left her name off it. Tom: We can see why. Crow: How do we know she wrote it then? Joel: Her name was on part two. *Jasmine was in her cabin all morning talking with her mother *Caipra when she says"I must tell you somthing my child, Joel: Wasn't Caipra the mother? Tom: Maybe the family is confused. *when you were 4 years old me and Dim Dim had a second child Crow: We didn't even know you had the first! *she would be 14 years old now. We sent her to live with a family Tom: [As Caipra] Which is NOT what we are. Crow: What are they? Tom: Demented. *untill it was safe enough to bring her home. Joel: Except we didn't. Crow: I knew we forgot something! Tom: Should have put it on the things-to-do list! *I want you to find her and bring her home to me, Crow: I have *plans* for her...cackle cakle cackle... *She lives in a small village called Liam Tom: It's not hard to find, it's by the *oasis*... *about a month away from Basra" Joel: If it's a month away from Basra, isn't it closer to something else? Tom: The only thing it's probably close to is Noel. *Jasmine says"I have a sister, Crow: I believe we have established that. *what is her name?" Caipra says"Her name is Lena" Joel: [As Caipra] I think...it's been a while. *Jasmine says"I must tell Sinbad about this" Crow: Why? Tom: Why what? Crow: Why does she have to tell Sinbad? Tom: To create a plot? *Caipra says"Yes do so" Joel: [As Jasmine] Fine then! I will! Tom: Be that way! Crow: I wonder when the Genie will show up. He's my favourite. Joel: Wrong Jasmine, Crow. *Jasmine says goodbye to her mother and heads for topside Tom: Are they living underground? *she finds Sinbad at the tillar Joel: If she ever looks back, she'll turn into a tillar of salt. Crow: Yes! SMITE THEM ALL!!! *and says"Sinbad, we must go to Liam, at the request of Caipra, Tom: [As Jasmine] You will do as you are ordered or else! Crow: [As Sinbad] Or what? Tom: [As Jasmine] Or I will do my infamous Zen Gesner impression! Crow: NOOOOOOOOOOOO! *She has informed me that I have a sister Joel: [As Jasmine] And only because I needed to know. *who is living there and Caipra wants us to go and get her now Tom: Is it just me, or is Jasmine getting a bit to bossy? Joel: She's definiately a bit too big for her britches. Crow: Throw her overboard! Throw her overboard! *that it is safe to do so, Liam is just north of Basra Tom: Actually, a bit northeast. *we'd get there in about a month" Sinbad says Crow: [As Sinbad]...You want us to haul your butt and your sisters for a month--no, two, and for free?! What do we look like? The Salvation Army? *"Well, really need to get this cargo to Siran." Joel: Well, really need to get out of here. Tom: I see, the new fad is to eliminate pronouns? Joel: To do it properly, you need lots of fibre. *Jasmine says"I know, Siran is near Basra isnt it?, Crow: [As Sinbad] I don't know. I thought you did! *and anyways this is Dim Dims other daughter we are talking *about" Tom: Oh, well then. Crow: Just what Sinbad wants, ANOTHER bossy and whiney girl on his hands! *Sinbad says"Well, I supose we could go after Siran seeing that *we are almost there" Joel: Pushover. *Jasmine smiles and gives him a warm hug and a thank you and *heads for down below. Tom: Davey Jones' locker, we hope. Crow: [sings] Here we come, walking down the street, getting the funniest looks from, everyone we meet... Tom: Ha, ha. *The crew arrives in Siran to deliver the Cargo, after that they *headed for Liam to find Lena. Joel: Wow, two tenses in one go. Crow: Oh no, you don't think that this could be... Joel: Could be what, Crow? Crow: ...could be EGYPTLOGIC IN DISGUISE?! Joel: Only if there is no God. *The crew got to the tiny village of Liam and no more than three Tom: ...people were eaten by sharks. Crow: ...people turned Sinbad down when he asked for a date. *and a half weeks. Joel: Like Ninja Turtles! Only more enduring, Ha! Ha! *The people of the village stare at the crew as they enter the Tom: Why is this fic suddenly in the present, and not in the past tense any more? Crow: Because the writer has no sense of time when she writes? Joel: Or, the more likely reason, the author sucks? *village Jasmine says"Were could she be" Joel: You mean you went all this way and you didn't even have an address?! *Maeve lets Dermott fly off Crow: Well, that was dumb. She should better hope he decides to come back. *for a while as the crew search. Tom: Yahoo? Excite? Webcrawler? Lycos? Joel: I wonder what Sinbad would search for on the internet. Crow: Probably the most searched-for subject. Heh heh heh... *A man comes up to the crew and says"Excuse me may I help you?" Joel: [As the man] You're scaring away my customers. *Sinbad says"Yes we are looking for a young girl Crow: I bet you are, heh heh heh... Joel: Crow... *by the name of Lena who was brought here as a Baby Tom: Why is "baby" capitalized? Crow: It's a proper noun. Duh. Either that, or the author is emphasizing....something. *by a sorcerer named Dim Dim, We have come to take her home" Joel: Why, through the entire fanfic, have they assumed that they can just show up and take her away from the only home she's ever known?" *the man says"Lena, She lives in that home. Tom: [as Jasmine] No, no, you idiot, I'm JASMINE, my SISTER is named Lena. *I will take you there" the crew follows the man, Crow: Hey! He didn't say Simon Says. *when they arrive the man knocks on the door a women comes out Tom: These run on sentances are beginning to remind me of something...or someone. Joel: Only NOW they're reminding you?! Crow: The Return Of Egyptlogic...hopefully not coming to a fanfic near you... *and says"Yes" Joel: Have you ever wondered how all these various Mediterranean people all speak english? Crow: Firouz invented the Universal Translator? *the man says"These people have come for Lena, Tom: Her warranty just expired, and she's been recalled. *remeber when Dim Dim brought her, well they come to take her Joel: What does Dim Dim bring her have to do with total strangers wanting to take her away? *home." Jasmine says" I am her sister Jasmine, May I see her" Crow: Who's May, and how much of her are we seeing? Joel: Crow... Crow: I think the whole "Crow..." gag is running on too long. Joel: It's habit. Crow: Nice excuse. Do you use it often? *The women calls for Lena, Tom: [Singing] Lena, lena bo bena, banana fanana fo fena, LE-NA! *Lena a young girl with shoulder lenth Joel: Oh, shoulder lenth. How embarressing. Crow: She should use Head&Shoulders. *brown hair and hazel eyes comes to the door and says"yes?" Tom: [As Lena] I told you already, I don't want a subscription! *the women says"I have to tell you something" Lena says"This is *Jasmine, your sister, your real mother is Caipra and your real *father is Dim Dim" Joel: Why is Lena saying this? How did she find out? *Lena looks shocked, Joel: Why? She was the one who told her mother, appearently! *while this is happening the man of the house Tom: Man of the house. How...quaint. Crow: What else should he be called? Resident idiot? Tom: That has a nicer ring to it. *comes in and says"You Cant take her!!!" Crow: Can too! Tom: If we wanted to, that is. Joel: I wonder why the Cant wants her. *Lena says"Why cant they, they want to take me home to my real *mother and father" Tom: She's taking this really well for someone who was just informed that her whole up-bringing was a lie. Joel: She also doesn't seem very torn up about leaving her family, either. Crow: If they're as bad as the rest of the characters in this fanfic, neither would I. *Jasmine says"Please sir I am only doing what my mother asks of *me." Tom: You want to take my daughter away from me, but since your mother asked you to, that's all right. *the man says"How do I know you are who you say you are, Crow: You have to over 18 to get in here, guys. *I want you all to leave" Sinbad says"Allright" Joel: That's it? They're just going to leave? Tom: Hopefully, because that way the story will end. *Jasmine looks at Sinbad as the crew leaves, later on in the *forest area were the villigars cant spot the crew Joel: There's that cant again. Tom: What exactly does "later on in the forest area were the villagers" mean? Crow: I'm positive I haven't the faintest idea. *Jasmine says"Sinbad why did you do that" Doubar says"They wernt *gonna give her up that easly" Joel: Whoa! Doubar! I always knew you were kinda *slow* but I thought you could talk better than that.... Crow: It's the New York version of Doubar. Tom: [As NY Doubar] You want I should swashbuckle, or what? *Sinbad says"Well, we can take her into the night" Crow: Whoa! I don't even need to say anything there! *Jasmine says"No! I am not gonna kidnap my own sister" Joel: What's happening? Is this "Sinbad Visits The Big Apple"? Tom: If Maeve calls Dermott a "boid" I'm *gonna* scream. *Sinbad says"If she comes willingly its not kidnapping" Jasmine *says"Oh I get it" Joel: Took her long enough. *Sinbad says"Heres the plan, we wait till night fall, Jasmine you *will go to her window and tell her Tom: ...the truth about your crummy family. Crow: ...that's she not really your sister, you made it up. *to wait till her family goes to sleep and to signal us when they *have, Joel: How is she supposed to do that? Set off flares in the living room? Tom: [As Lena's *parents*] What's that noise? Oh, Lena's setting off fireworks again. *then tell her that to get ready when Dermott flys by." Crow: It's a boid, it's a plane, oh no, wait, it IS a boid. Joel: How are they supposed to see the bird in the middle of the night? *Jasmine says"What if we get caught" Tom: Oh, it'll just mean twenty-to-life. *Sinbad says"You and Lena run and find a good hiding place we *will take care of the rest" Crow: What "rest" is there? *Later that night the crew watched as Jasmine slowly went up to *Lenas window she says"Shh!! we gonna help you sneak out, Tom: [As Jasmine] We gonna help ya, but if ya screw up, yer gonna get a visit from our *friend* Joey... *Wait till they go to sleep when they have signal us" Crow: Hey, there's no punctuation in that sentance...OH NO! RUN FOR THE HILLS! Joel: If it IS Egyptlogic, there is no defense. We're doomed. Tom: [Subtitled] Oh no! The monster is coming, we must flee! *She points to the direction that lena will signal. Crow: How does she know exactly? Joel: Further more, it sounds like Lena is going to use flares! *"Then wait untill Dermott Flys by by your window Tom: [As Jasmine] Wait until Dermott flys by...oh, wait, there he goes now. *and then get some things ready Joel: Like what? Crow: Toothpaste, hairbrush, emergency fireworks, that sort of thing. *then I will come back and bring you to safty. Tom: Safty? What's that? Crow: A merger between Saf&Dy Productions and the makers of Beanie Babies? *Suddenly a voice is heard "LENA!! Whats going on in there" Joel: Wouldn't YOU like to know! *Jasmine quickly ducks. the man comes in the room and lena *says"Nothing" the man leaves she says"Jasmine" Jasmine says"You *got the plan" Lena says"Got it...Sister" Jasmine smiles at the *young girl and sneaks off. Crow: That...was...all...one...sentance. Good God. We're all doomed. *It was a few hours before Lena signaled the crew, Joel: So they'd all gone to the tavern and missed the flares becuase they were all asleep under the table. *Maeve sent Dermott off. Tom: UPS or Western Union? *Lena quietly got some things together. Crow: [As Lena] Hm, okay, I've got my handgun, my emergency rations, my cocaine--I think I've got all the essentials. *Jasmine met her at her window, while she was climbing out she *knocked over a vase which had a loud crash, Joel: How, exactly, can you manage to knock over a vase while climbing out a window? *Jasmine lena out the window Tom: What? Does that sentance make any sense to anyone? Crow: Not that I know of. *just as the man of the house came in, He saw Jasmine and Lena Joel: So the man of the house is God? *Jasmine screamed "RUN!!!" The man called off Tom: [as the man] I get first dibs! *and started to run after the two girls only to be confronted by *Sinbad, Rongar, Firouz, Doubar, and Maeve" Crow: And Dermott. Joel: God forbid that we should forget Dermott. Tom: The Man obviously did. *the man says"Kidnappers, the Omar will hear about this" Sinbad *says"Will that be before or after we tell him you broke your *promise to Dim Dim, and anyways she went willingly" Joel: Oh, that makes it okay then. Despite the fact she's underage and running off with people she met literally the day before. Crow: I could say something here, but I think I won't. Joel: That's a first. *the man says"Fine, take her, see what I care" Tom: He changed his tune pretty quickly. *Maeve says"We better get Lena to the ship" the crew find Lena *and Jasmine. Crow: Why did the story switch tenses all of a sudden? Tom: You mean again? *Lena says"Sorry about the vase" Jasmine says"Thats allright" Crow: [As Lena] Yeah, I'm really sorry about breaking the vase that belonged to me. Tom: I get the strange feeling that the last line was supposed to be funny. Joel: How mistaken you are. Hey! I think the story is over! All: WOOHOO! Crow: Now we can get back to doing usefull stuff, like, uh, watching "sliders" reruns on Space. Tom: That is *kinda* usefull....it hones our MSTing skills... The REAL End