This is a product of Saf&Dy Productions.  It was MSTed by Saf&Dy,
who can be reached at and  We support free speech on the Internet as
it applies to our ability to say whatever the hell we feel like.

Blah blah blah copyright.

If you would like to mail the author, you can always attempt to
find the address in the gibberish below...

And without further ado, [or as much ado as you would like]

The Real Story Behind the Tournament

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Joel: My god but that's a lot of headers.

Tom: But think about it, now we can hunt them down and find out
where they live.

Joel: Why do I get the feeling we'll be wanting to do that?


Crow: Don't you think you've over-stayed your welcome?

*I've got another fanfiction saga to donate.

Joel: I'm sorry, but there will be no more donations after this

*"The true story Behind The Tournament"

Crow: On the next Sally Jesse, live!

Tom: Ancient Monks And The Four-Armed Creatures Who Love Them!


Joel: Columbus sailed the ocean blue...

Crow: That doesn't rhyme.

Joel: Columbus sailed...on the bright blue sea! HA!

Crow: Got me there.

*The shaolin Champion

Tom: Shouldn't "Shaolin" be in capitals, not champion?

Crow: Shouldn't we be somewhere else?  I'm thinking Tahiti.

*Kung lao was training for the Next Mortal Kombat Tournament.

Tom: He felt it was so important, he needed to capitalise "next".

Crow: He was so excited, he forgot to capitalise his own name....

Joel: Maybe his cApS Lock iS BroKeN and capItaLiSEs tHiNgs THat
hE doEsn't wANt cApITaLiSed.

Crow: And maybe he just can't write for beans.

Joel: That's a distinct possibility.

*He was sure that he

Tom: ...would be crowned Miss America

Crow: ..would get his suit back from the cleaners.

Joel: ...would find his way out of this fanfic before it was too

Tom: Unfortunately, it's too late for us.

*would beat Shang tsung again.

Tom: The last pillow fight was a draw.

Crow: Hey, is this going to turn into a bondage fic, with
medieval monks?

Tom: Talk about fetishes.

*The master called "Lao!"

Joel: [As Master] I told you to call collect!

Tom: Or at least use Sprint, so that Candance Bergen will go
away, her mission completed.

Joel: But her TRUE mission is world domination...

*Kung answered "Yes master?".

Crow: [As Igor] Yes, master? I have the brains, master....

*The master replied "It is Tournament day Tomorow,

Joel: So you'd better shine your shoes and be on your best

*The white lotus society depend on

Tom: Your generous donations! Phone now, to continue to support
this quality MSTing! 

Crow: That could be taken to mean support this quality MSTing by
writing more lame-o fanfics.

Tom: Support MSTings like this one by sending us money!

Crow: Much better.

*you to defeat Tsung"."No problem! I'll whip him all around!"

Crow: I knew it! A bondage fic!

Joel: Crow....

*Rayden appeared to him.

Joel: [As Kung Lao] Whoa, maybe I shouldn't have been sniffing so
much glue!

*he said "Kung lao,Do not be too sure

Tom: ...That there won't be a lot of traffic on the way downtown.

Crow: ...that the "master" is as normal as he seems.

Joel: ...That this fanfic has any redeeming qualities at all,
besides the humour factor.

*for Tsung has powers greater than yours".

Crow: For instance, he knows the secret second verse of "Yankee

Tom: [As Kung Lao] No! I'm DOOMED!

*Lao laughed "What power? The power of a stone?!".

Joel: Why do I get the feeling that was supposed to be funny?

Crow: I thought I got that feeling as well, but it was just

*In the Outworld Shao Kahn yelled "TSUNG!!"

All: ALVIN!!!!!

*Shang replied "Yes master?".

Tom: [As Shang] Yes! I admit it. I HAVE been using your cream

*Kahn said "The tournament is tomorrow

Joel: Just in case you forget, I want you to set your alarm.

*and If you win you will be the most honoured man in the outworld

Crow: [as Kahn] That means you'll be the only guy in the army who
gets to lick my...

Joel: Crow....

Crow: I was going to say "boots".  "Lick my boots".

Joel: [Grumbling]

*Shang tsung asked "Who's that?"."This is Goro,Son of King gorbak

Tom: Thank you for the information, O Disembodied Voice!

*From The Province of Kutan,

Joel: Isn't that in Mongolia?

*He will assist in battle at the moment

Crow: [As Tsung] But, we're not fighting at the moment...

Tom: So he's basically useless.  Like everyone else in this

*you need him,Chant his name and he will appear"

Joel: Or you might get the operator asking you to dial again.

*said The Kahn

Joel: As opposed to a random Kahn.

Tom:'s The Kahn!

*It was tournament Day.

Crow: Finally! The day we've so long awaited!

Tom: Not.

*Tsung had entered and Beaten nearly all his

Tom: ...egg whites, his souffle was almost ready to be put into
the oven...

Crow: [Opens mouth to say something]

Joel: No, Crow, it is not a bondage fic.

Crow: It could be.  If you look at it from a *certain point of

Joel: Yeah right, Obi-wan.

*opponents and Soon it was time for him to fight Kung lao.

Tom: Wasn't he supposed to fight Kung Lao when he first entered?

Joel: You expect continuity? I thought better of you.

Tom: [Hangs head in shame]

*The first round was Fast&Furious,

Crow: So fast, the author forgot how to spell "and".

Tom: We're not surprised.

*Kung lao threw his hat mostly throughout the round.

Joel: He really shouldn't do that.  He may have to eat it later.

*The next round the Ball was in Shang's court

Tom: Shang Tsung has got possession, he's going across the court,
he's shooting, and yes! Goal! Outland wins the World Cup!

*he had performed

Crow: ...brain surgery on himself.

Tom: Carnegie Hall once or twice.

Joel:  ...the entire play of Hamlet in a funny puppet voice.

*A few shape shifting manovers.

Tom: Whaa...?

Joel: Maybe he means make-overs.

Tom: I don't even want to think about that.

Crow: Shang Tsung vs The Avon Lady...I'd like to see that.

Joel: We bet you do.

*He'd even morphed into Kung and Used his hat against him.Tsung
*had one

Tom: ...coming to him, if you ask me.

By Round 3 the fight was eqaul.

Joel: I bet it was.

*They had beaten each other to the last

Crow: Is it over? Is it over?

*scrap of energy.

Crow: It's not over yet!  Aw nuts.

Tom: I wonder if they cleaned their plates?

*Tsung was fed up

Joel: Before, he was only moderately annoyed.

*and Yelled "GOROOOOOO!".Goro appeared

Crow: Hey! Goro! He didn't ask for you! He yelled for

*and without warning he grabbed lao and Stomped

Tom: Playing at a theatre near you!

*on him constanly untill he was dead.

Crow:  [As Goro] Take that! And that! And that! And this one is
for my cousin Louie...

*But goro did not stop there he ripped out The skeleton

Joel: Not just ANY old skeleton...

*and the Elders were stunned.

Tom: [As the Elders] We didn't see THAT coming!

*They knew their Champion had been defeated...

Crow: Pretty perceptive bunch, huh?

*Can you please slap this up when you get the chance and have
*read it through.

Crow: Can we please slap him around? Please? I've been good! I've
*tried* to restrain myself!

Joel: Well...normally I'm against senseless violence, but this IS
a Mortal Kombat fic.

Tom: Did anyone notice that the title is "The True Story Behind
the Tournament"?

Crow: Yeah? So?

Tom: So how is this story the true story behind the tournament?

Joel: I don't know.  Maybe we could write to the author and have
them explain it.

Tom: But then they might want to write MORE to clean up the

Crow: God no!  But I don't think that's possible in any case.

Tom: Writing to the author?

Crow: No, clearing up the confusion! Ha! Ha! Ha!

The End